My phone’s ringing? That’s not my phone

My mom’s cellphone went off on the table…

After a while of it still ringing, she was like, “What’s ringing?”

And I said, “phone.”

She’s like, “whose phone?”

Wow….mom…when you set a ring tone, you should really recognize it, no wonder you always ignore my calls since you could never tell it was ringing…

~ A

Left Brained vs. Right Brained Part 2

Part 2:Right after my mom’s Asian blonde moment in the post earlier, my sister asked this question:

“So your brain on your left is your right brain, right?”

Maybe my family was just never taught how to tell their left from their right…maybe my mom never knew it in the first place, which is also why my sister never learned it…

~ A

Left Brained/ Right Brained…

My mom was talking about right vs. left brain.

I can understand if she messes up right and left in English, as it’s her second language.

But no…she pointed at her left brain and told us in Chinese… “your right brain controls your … ”

Love  ya mom! I know that kindergarten kids that may be able to tell right from left!

~ A

Bus Driver – You know where this house is?

I was on the bus and a group of young people (think high school) came onto the bus.

They asked the bus driver, “do you go on 40th Ave?”

Bus driver: “Yes”

One of the girls then asked, “Do you go by 5408, 40th Ave?”

First…bus drivers don’t have photographic memory in that they remember every house they drive by, if they do, they wouldn’t be driving buses.

Second, her friend followed up by saying, “He’s a bus drive, not Google Maps!”

Kids these days…

~ A

You care or you don’t care?

My sister went and saw the new Dr. Seuss’ movie of “Lorax”. In it, there was a quote, “Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing’s going to get better. It’s not.”

Me being the more math person recognized the double negatives in the sentence… so I got really confused as I took it as,

“Unless someone cares, it’s not not going to get better.”

Meaning, unless someone cares, it’s going to get better.

So if somebody doesn’t care, everything’s going to get better.

I got super confused as I was like, it’s a kid’s movie… they’re teaching kids to not care and that everything will just get better?! The things they teach these days!

P.S. My sister explained that the “it’s not” is just for rhyming purposes, meaning it’s actually that only if someone cares, then things will get better.

~ A

My toe got cut off?

I thought I broke my toe and my mom was in Taiwan so I called her to tell her this news.

My grandpa picked up and since my mom wasn’t there, I figured I would tell him in Chinese so that he can tell my mom when she comes back.

Except my translation wasn’t that good and I ended up saying that my toe got ”cut off”.

My grandpa, being a war veteran started telling me not to panic, because it happened to his friend during war…

“It’s ok, just make sure you take the toe, put it in ice and then in a plastic bag”

At this point, my grandma who was listening to this whole thing quickly took the phone from my grandpa.

“Don’t panic! You should drive to the hospital and make sure that you don’t use the foot with the cut off toe to drive…”

I love my grandparents’ words of wisdom

P.S. My mom called me about 10 minutes later to make sure I should rush to the hospital right away… for which I luckily calmed her down.

~ A

What’s on your finger?

My mom recently had a little bump on her thumb and she got it treated since apparently it had some infection that caused it.

This all happened in Taiwan and she was trying to tell me via the phone that she had this little bump, except I had no idea what it meant when she told me in Chinese.

So she tried to explain it in English… and this was what she said on the phone…

“I have mold on my thumb”

Which I replied in shock, “Mom I know it’s damp in Taiwan which causes molding, but that’s a bit extreme to cause an infection.”

We found out later that she was going for “Wart”…

Wow…I’m impressed with my mom’s English…

~ A

Why is 6 Afraid of 7

So there’s a joke – “Why is 6 Afraid of 7?”

The answer is: Because 7 “ate” 9.

Now if you say it out loud, it sounds like numbers in sequence.

My sister was told the joke by her friends … to which they kept on saying it to her, “because 7 “ate” 9.”

The sad part was that she kept on thinking, yes… “7,8,9″ and so she didn’t get it. Then she asked her friends, “guys I can count, 6, and then 7, then 8, then 9… I still don’t get the joke though… is this a math joke because I’m not good at math …”

I love breaking the myth that asians are good at math and also that we’re smart in getting jokes.

~ A

Coffee cake – beans or actual coffee?

My mom decided coffee cake tasted good and figured we should attempt to make it.

So to show off her culinary skills, she had gotten a coffee cake, which asked for 2 cups of coffee.

Now, most people would just make coffee and measure out 2 cups.

Nope…she interpreted this as 2 cups of coffee beans…

So she measured out 2 cups of coffee beans and mixed it into the cake.

After it was baked, my sis and I were the first ones to test it.

I must say, love the regular tasting cake PLUS bitter coffee beans throughout.

It was a crunchy cake – maybe that’s what they mean by bitter-sweet…

~ A